• Kaleidoscope of Memories: Part 1

    It’s part of the process. Being triggered happens to everyone, right? Sometimes, the trigger brings up painful memories and sometimes, funny, cringeworthy, or embarrassing memories. Flashbacks are weird and a big part of PTSD, but they’re not always scary or traumatic. Sometimes, you even wish to take back things you’ve said or done. I remember…

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5-7-24

People scare me.

That’s just what it is.

I’m afraid of my family, friends, strangers, and coworkers. People are just so unpredictable. They want you to be honest with them, but they get upset when you tell them the truth, no matter how gently you approach it.

Gentle or not, the truth can be painful, and nobody wants to be hurt. The truth is painful for me. Being afraid of people is a big problem.

I had a minor altercation with a friend today. I was honest about something, and they immediately got defensive. I was trying to sort through my feelings because I was getting the silent treatment, and I realized I was not angry. I’m scared.

Why am I scared? It was so quick, out of the blue. Everything was fine, and then it snapped. You see one thing that’s not agreed with, and you become your best friend’s enemy.

It doesn’t matter how long the disagreement lasts. You could potentially be their enemy, and there will be retaliation. Points will be made.

All I’ve taken from it is that someone I thought I could trust and someone I would lean on; well, I can’t be honest with them because honesty will be punished.

I don’t know how severe the punishment will be.


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